Reflection Eternal

I stumbled across my blog the other day.  It’s not that I forgot it existed, it’s just that I had not thought about it in a long time. The craving to write and create used constantly pull at me, distracting me from work, family, and at times turning me catatonic and oblivious to the world around me.  Social media technology, having everything at my fingertips, seems to have taken its place in a world and time where being wired 24/7 is not looked at as an obsession, but second nature.  I am not a couch potato.  I live an active lifestyle. I run, I work out. But I am guilty of not being able to unplug!
Why is this bugging me.  Idk?  I just feel at times I wasting to much time in fantasy instead of living and pursuing.  I am always thinking about the next big adventure.  But I also crave the stimulation of a good podcast, movie, show or an audio book. I also know I feel the pressure and have suffered from “FOMO.” The Fear of Missing Out.
The Ultra Marathon seen is bursting at the seams and it’s hard to keep up. I want so bad to be all up in the mix of it all.  But I got to also stay grounded and keep a balance for both my budget and my family.  I know there are times I am physically with them, but mentally gone.  Its tough.  I love them very much, but its hard when that voice in my head is calling me away.
I have never shied away from being honest or even sensitive in my writing.  Sometimes I feel I expose too much.  But that’s why write.  To get the shit off my chest.
So in looking back it’s hard to believe my last blog post was from May of 2015.   I had finally finished the Zane Grey 50 miler.  I was so obsessed with that race and after finishing I was so mentally and physically exhausted. I remember afterwards wanting to just disappear.  In way I did and in a way I didn’t. I was happy that I finished, but was left feeling empty. 
That summer I went on to win the Arizona Road Racers summer series for my age division. The summer series consist of (4) 5k races and (1) 4mile race.  They have a point system based on your top 4 performances.  It sure was a nice change of pace and it brought back many memories of my high school cross country days.  I enjoyed all the accolades I was getting. I prided myself in bringing home a medal from each race; especially since at these races only the top three in each age division received a medal.  It made me wonder if maybe I should give up on Ultra Running and just stick to short races considering the success I was having. 
In August of 2015 I went on my first ever hunting trip.  My buddy Chris invited me to join him and his father up near the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.  There was zero cell service.  That was longest I had gone without being able to use my phone; 6 days.  It was amazing to unplug.  I felt so free.  I experienced so many new things on this trip.  I can’t lie, in my many ways I felt like a kid being exposed to the outdoors for the first time.  
Just the idea of keeping everything so simple, form the meals we ate, to our sleeping arrangement. No tents.  Just a tarp over our cots.  Waking up early to a HOT cup cowboy coffee. Spitting out coffee grounds.  Bushwhacking through the forest scouting for deer.  Sitting in a blind and nearly shitting my pants when a deer discovered us, snarled, and ran like hell.   This defiantly upped my outdoor game. But it also opened up a flood gates of thoughts in my brain.  I had not a felt that type of inspiration in a long time.   Throughout the trip Chris and I reminisced on our past ultras as well as what the future held for us.  It felt so good to be dreaming and making plans.
I am not going to reflect on every event since my 2015 Zane Blog.  Although I do have unfinished drafts/race reports from Black Canyon 60k, Zane Grey 2016, Grand Canyon Rim to Rim,Humphreys hike, and even pacing Chris at the Mogollon Monster. I need to finish that blog; it was SO AMAZING!
I guess I am writing this as a reminder to myself to disconnect now and again.  To remind myself to not only dream, but to live it.  I need to be engaged in my family. I need to set a good example.  I want to see my kids grow and make their lives extraordinary.  I hate the rat race. but it is what it is. 
I am running consistent again and I have really been enjoying it. After a challenge from Chris, to not just talk about goals but pursue them, I signed up and will be running Across the Years (ATY) in a few weeks.  I choose to run the 24-hour race starting on December 31st.  I know this will not only test me physically but mentally.  This will be my first timed race.  1.05 mile loops. Excited! Nervous! Anxious!  Going to be fun!

Humphrey Hike With Liz,Brian and Giles

Chris with his Mogollon Monster Buckle

Road Racers award 2015

Rim to Rim


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